Do You Even Carrot All About Cake (And Other Stuff)?

Recently, I made School Night Vegan’s Carrot Cake recipe, and wow, it did NOT disappoint! If you are looking for a delicious, not-too-sweet cake with the perfect cream cheese frosting, I highly recommend you check out his recipe (and his blog in general)!

Baking always makes me happy. It's a tried and true form of self-care for me, and I feel like it's a reward to be able to eat the project at the end :) I definitely care about carrot cake - like, a lot - but I also care about many other non-edible things.

As usual, I have been filling my brain with existential ponderings about a myriad of topics. Today, the inner dialogue is surrounding the idea of caring for something or someone. What does it mean to care? How many different ways can I care? What is the importance of caring?

Hey Siri, define caring.

I often write about self-care on my blog, because I know that it is an ongoing journey for many of us. What about the concept of caring in general? If you look in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, you'll find this definition: "Feeling or showing concern for or kindness to others." Pretty straightforward, I guess. But I think that we as humans often overcomplicate stuff and make caring seem like some far-off, unattainable thing.

I don't think it has to be. Yes, we are very busy with our day-to-day lives and hectic schedules, and finding time to do the laundry can be a stretch - let alone finding ways to be "caring." The thing is, I think being genuine around others is a beautiful way to show you care. So, how can we be genuine?

Try active listening.

Photo Description: Pheebs doing a lil' active listening.

When I was in grad school for social work, the term "active listening" was something I would hear multiple times a day. I hadn't ever heard of it before, and it seemed a little counterintuitive - like, doesn't listening imply that you're actively listening?

Not exactly, turns out. Active listening is a practice; it is a healthy form of communicating with someone else. When you are actively listening to someone, you are fully present, engaged, and making sense of what they are saying to you. So if you are daydreaming about your bagel and (vegan) cream cheese that you'll get before work tomorrow morning, you sadly do not pass the active listening test.

If you are with someone, try to just be there with them. Sure, we can't be "on" all the time. Getting distracted is human nature. But whenever possible, try to practice active listening. It certainly shows the other person(s) you're with that you care.

Choose your love language.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Have you heard of the 5 love languages? If you haven't, essentially it is believed that we humans show love in five main ways: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Some people may show love in several ways, but the idea is that we offer a special way of expressing ourselves and showing others we care.

I encourage you to explore what your love language(s) may be. I am definitely an acts-of-service gal, but I am also a big fan of spending quality time with my loved ones. Oftentimes, you and someone you care for may have different ways of expressing love. In that case, I think it's important to discuss and openly communicate how your ways of showing love or affection may differ.

It is okay to have different ways of communicating or expressing love - try to work together to discover mutual similarities. Sometimes, those similarities may seem small and nuanced, but giving them the proper attention could be really helpful to your overall dynamic.

How are you? No, really.

It's very common for us to say hello to someone and automatically add in, "How are you?" It's just as common for someone to respond, "I'm fine." As a society, I think we often answer with "fine," because that seems like the socially acceptable thing to do. If we aren't fine that day, though, we should be able to express our concerns or troubles.

So if you are with a friend or someone you know well or trust, and you see they aren't really "fine," maybe pausing to check in with them would mean a lot. Of course, it may be a bit inappropriate to ask a complete stranger if they are being truthful when they say they are doing fine, but if you know someone well and they really don't seem to be doing okay, try to show your support. Show you care.

We are constantly moving from one thing to the next, and it's really easy to forget to slow down and find a moment of human connection with someone. Taking just a moment's pause to ask your friend if they are truly okay has the potential to make a huge impact. We can never know what someone is going through, but we can try to show we care.

Eat your (carrot) cake and stuff.

Photo Description: School Night Vegan's Carrot Cake recipe

So yes, eat the carrot cake. Try to show you care. Remember to care for yourself, too. There's no formula for success when it comes to finding the right balance in our lives, but I think if we just try to be genuine with one another, everything else will be that much easier.

In case you had any doubts up until this point, I care about ya!